I am.

I had my students write "I Am" poems during the first couple weeks of Creative Writing and share them with the class. I was blown away with the emotion and honesty they shared in these poems. Sometimes, when I have time, I love to do the assignments with them, but I didn't get the chance to do the "I Am" this past semester. At least, until now. Here's what mine would be:

I am tired. Of the brokenness, the hurt, and the bitterness.
I am tired of being exhausted and weary.
I am tired of being pulled in too many directions.
I am tired of renting. Of the ugly fern lampshades and beach themes.
I am tired of packing a lunch every night.
I am tired of my selfishness.
I am tired of note-taking and Love and Logic.
I am tired of relationships.
I am tired of being too trusting. I am tired of not being trusting at all.
I am tired of appointments and living by my iPhone.
I am tired of saying I want to do something and not following through.
I am tired of snow and scraping my car off.
I am tired of to-do lists.
I am tired of snapping at the people I care about.
I am tired of shallow friendships and not having the time to invest.
I am tired of anger that builds up and boils over and never settles.
I am tired of needing affirmation in words and actions.
I am tired of wearing boots and scarves.
I am tired of living far away from my friends.
I am tired of early mornings and routines and schedules.
I am tired of pouring myself into my job.
I am tired of organic food being so expensive.
I am tired of not having time. For dance. For yoga. For painting.
I am tired of protecting myself, building up walls, and holding back.
I am tired of being stuck here. In this house. In this state. When my soul is longing to wander.
I am tired of putting on a brave face.
I am tired of being a product of broken trust, fears, and insecurities.



However...
I am covered by God's grace.

I am grateful. To be alive, to be warm, to be loved.
I am grateful for encouraging family and friends who support me.
I am grateful for honesty.
I am grateful for a God who loves and restores me.
I am grateful for motivated students and growth.
I am grateful that I am needed.
I am grateful for Bon Iver and Mumford and Sons.
I am grateful for hazelnut coffee.
I am grateful that I am adored.
I am grateful for nature and creation.
I am grateful for self - expression and the people who understand.
I am grateful for writing. And paint. And cameras.
I am grateful for cookbooks and dinners with friends.
I am grateful for and much-needed "me" time.
I am grateful for guys who still know how to pursue.
I am grateful for transitions, topic sentences, and hooks.
I am grateful for knowledge and continually learning.
I am grateful to know Spanish.
I am grateful for Founders and Bottom 40 and the friends who go along with that.
I am grateful for stargazing, picnics, and sailing.
I am grateful for trusting that God knows what He's doing.
I am grateful for the friends who challenge, encourage, and accept me.
I am grateful that I can pay it forward.
I am grateful that I'm in a position to teach my students to do the same.
I am grateful for late night texts that encourage me.
I am grateful for laughing until I cry. For learning to laugh at myself.
I am grateful for having a trip to plan.
I am grateful that I am loved. Deeply. Fully. Unconditionally.
I am grateful for relationships that haven't worked out and what I've learned from them.
I am grateful that I am known.
I am grateful for crazy outfits and feathers in my hair.
I am grateful that I am a work in progress.
I am grateful I can pour myself into my job.
I am grateful to have a God who covers me with love.
I am grateful to be a product of hope, renewal, and unfailing love.


PS:
I just got a new skirt from JB and Me... and I'm already excited about my outfit for tomorrow.
Mira. (It's really awesome quality because it's from my Mac, but I wanted to show you)
If you work with me, I'm wearing this tomorrow... but don't worry, I just tried it on. I didn't wear it all day. (;

Skirt: JB and Me. Top: Dress from Forever 21. Cardigan: Gap. Necklace: Made myself. (: I haven't worn it yet because it hasn't really matched anything yet.